Women who are hovering around the age of 40 find the statistics that report the diminished chances of pregnancy at that age to be a real sore spot. Medical specialists feel a certain obligation to put forth the glum statistics and offer the option of donor eggs without considering the readiness of the patient. This position is not illogical from the medical point of view. The trouble is, it is unhelpful to women who want to give themselves a chance – not only to achieve a pregnancy, but to do it with their own eggs. Women resent being told that they’re too old when they feel in the prime of their lives. And this medical position also raises levels of anxiety and depression which intensifies mind/body tension which can work at cross-purposes when you want to maintain physical and emotional receptivity to a pregnancy.
In my many decades of supporting couples in the infertility challenge, I am inclined to support the hope of those who have lowered ovarian reserve. After all, if you do conceive, then your chances were not the grim 2% or 10% or whatever, but 100%!
Furthermore, accepting an unwanted reality after doing everything in your power to achieve a conception either naturally or with IVF, allows the flow of an evolutionary process. Evolution is the key word. While the intentions of medical specialists are likely good, it is a mistake to push patients into these choices before they achieve readiness. Ovum donation needs to be embraced – not seen as a consolation prize. The same can be said for adoption or the choice to live child-free.
For a recent article on this subject, click here.